the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Randomize