you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
