New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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