so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
someone owes me an orgasm
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
