I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
