its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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