im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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