so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
