You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize