i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
