How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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