Non-Jews are for practice
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
