Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I have fence marks all over my body
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
My life is pants optional.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
