So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
