I heard we made out
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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