His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
