just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
