Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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