I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
