What did we do last night that was yellow?
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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