So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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