Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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