You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
