You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
