i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
She needs sedatives and a leash
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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