you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
