wake up i wanna do it froggy style
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
