his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
