so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
