Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
