so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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