Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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