farters have to be the big spoon...
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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