Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
