After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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