I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I got inside last night via doggy door
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
