i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
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