did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
