i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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