I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
