I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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