It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
She's like a pop up book from hell.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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