Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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