i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
