I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize