his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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