Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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