Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
he puts the penis in happiness.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
