Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
