I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
farters have to be the big spoon...
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
