i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
i dont even know how to be here
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
we're so committed to being not committed
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
