oh god the rape fog is back!
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
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