You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
