She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize