I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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