u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
