considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
